Diary of a bulimic: a forbidden food I'd forgotten

Today I did something that many take for granted - I consumed a calorie fuelled cookie without fighting the toxic thoughts of failure that trigger the urge to purge.

I didn't purposely punish myself for finding pleasure in a processed pick me up, nor did I feel the 'need' to rid my body of the 'bad' calories that I had consumed. Instead, I felt free to enjoy eating, free to experience the exhilarating taste and texture of a favourite food that I had forced myself to forget, and free to savour every second without wanting to make myself sick.

In fact, after eight years of fighting a daily battle with bulimia, I finally felt like I had found the strength to see past the sugar that scared me, the fat that fuelled my fear of getting 'fat' and the calories that I had convinced myself would contribute to a wider waistline if I failed to maintain the mental motivation to say no to tasty treats - the treats that always triggered the emotional turmoil that forced me to rid my body of 'forbidden food.'

No matter how 'stupid' a successful goal may seem, or how small a step you have taken, be sure to acknowledge every accomplishment, every obstacle that you have overcome and every lesson that you have learned. Sometimes the simple things mean the most...